So, what it do?


You’ve come, peeked around, you’ve clicked here and there, and now you really want to bite into the meat. Me, too! So, lets get into it! I’ve decided to do blog posts in series. There is no way I can get everything out in one blog post, and I do not want to start a topic and then move on to another. I’d rather have a discussion with you guys. Give me feedback, leave comments, ask questions, share information! I’m here for it all, and I hope you guys are, too.

Heyyy, you guys!!

We love and hate here, we judge here, we talk real shit here, we express raw emotion here, we get down to the nitty gritty here. We love and hate because everything is not for everybody. There are things I love that you will cringe about. And vice versa. We judge because how else do you get through life and learn from experiences? How else do you use your intuition and instincts? Judging situations, actions, and words, is something we do so many times in a day, we do not even realize we do it. We judge how much time we have to cross an intersection. We judge how long it will take to get to and from our favorite restaurant on our lunch hour without being late. We judge whether or not someone is a potential friend or mate when we meet them based on their character and actions. One definition of judge is: conclude or decide. We judge!

We talk real shit because there is no other way to do it around these parts. Honesty is a major part of who I am and the people I surround myself with. Topics may be cliché, a stigma to some, off limits to many, but that is exactly the real shit we will be talking about here.

This first series is LIFESTYLE” I decided to switch up the order a little bit. This was originally the fourth series I had planned, but I have had so many of the same conversations lately, I think this is more fitting right now. So many of us are struggling right now. The increase of black men, women, and kids being murdered on and off camera with no recourse. This pandemic that has turned this entire year upside down and around twice. The unemployment rate is down to about 8%, which is way better than the %13.3 we were at in May, but that number is still really high. The deaths of Kobe Bryant, John Lewis, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Chadwick Boseman, and so many others! I mean, what the entire hell? People are unhappy. People are feeling isolated, helpless, overwhelmed. People are forced to spend more time with themselves, their loved ones, and more time away from friends and family. That will make you look at yourself. Do you like who you are? When you look in the mirror, do you recognize and admire the person looking back at you? I have experienced trauma of all sorts, from a very early age, and have had many years of therapy to deal with it. So many people tell me they can’t believe I’m so positive and happy after finding out some of the things I’ve been through. I have overcome those exact feelings of low self esteem, helplessness, and more, I know that with the right kind of targeted work, you can be happy and feel whole, no matter what is going on around you. It starts with YOU.

So, what it do? It does take work. It does take action. It does take self reflection. And it does take accountability. And that is where we will start. The first thing is to make a list of things you feel bad that you’ve done. Yes, the ugly truth. Maybe it was dating a guy you knew wasn’t good for you, or was already in a relationship, and you still went along with it. Or perhaps you stole something because you could and did get away with it. Perhaps you talked badly about someone. Whatever it is, write it down. And go back. All the way back.

Go back to a time when your thought process was different than it is now. Let’s face it, as teenagers, we are far more carefree than we are in our twenties. In our twenties, we may lack direction and definition of self, more than when we do once we get to our thirties. The older we get, the more seasoned our beliefs. The frontal lobe in the brains does’t even finish developing until between 25 and 30 years old ,so that right there let’s us know that we process information and decision making differently at different ages. Often times, we go through things and forgive the other person, without forgiving ourselves for the part we played. We overlook the low self esteem, the controlling behaviors, the demanding ways, selfish ways, or stereotypical and unrealistic views that we have and that we base our decisions on. We have all played our part in making some bad choices. But what can we do about something already done? Not a damn thing!

So, we are writing them down. Allow yourself to see some of the things that are or were inside you. We are admiring where we were and where we are, as well as where we can and will go. We are forgiving ourselves, we are letting the shit go, and we are moving on!

We are taking a necessary step in getting back to the true self. Happy forgiving!

Categories: LifestyleTags: , , ,

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