Tis the Season…


Can you believe December is here already? We have finished one whole week, seven whole days (still one of my favorite songs by Toni Braxton, by the way😉) of December and I still cannot believe how fast this year flew by! With the entire world experiencing a pandemic, and the United States getting it far worse than other countries, I imagined the quarantine, social distancing, and the complete overhaul and annihilation of normalcy, would have slowed down time! It did not. Did it speed it up, or is it just me? Now, less than three weeks away from one of the most anticipated holidays of the year, things are getting heavy! We have almost completed an entire year in a pandemic. We have survived virtual learning, barely😂 and we are about to enter into a new year, uncertain of when this pandemic will end.

Are you alright? You’re not letting life stress you out, are you? Of course we have our moments, but we are bigger than every problem that arises, and if we’re not yet, we are doing the internal work to get there….right? Tis the season for more worry and stress, more tasks to complete, and more of a need to really be taking care of ourselves! So, I was on FaceTime with one of my younger sisters the other day, and she asked it I had any self-care tips for people with kids. I thought for a moment about my niche. I profess to be a self-care strategist, but whose self-care? Women, men, moms, single women without kids. I say all of them! But, it made me realize that I have an audience of people needing specifically targeted self-care techniques for how their lives are set up.

My kids are older and although I’m a grandmother, I don’t have young children that depend 100% on me for everything anymore. And yes, it’s bittersweet. But, for those women that do have younger kids at home and feel like their lives are so busy that they can’t fit self-care into their daily routines, I have a solution, of course. I have several ways to add meaningful yet simple self-care practices into your daily life, without spending a fortune, getting your entire household involved, and without feeling like you are either sacrificing your peace or your family. We CAN have it all!

First thing first, decide what your self-care will look like. It’s an individual thing because we all have individual needs. Yes, some techniques work for everyone, but there needs to be several specific techniques especially for you that you love, enjoy, and that bring fulfillment, and calm. Perhaps it’s candles, or new make-up. We all love our kids, but you need a break from them every now and then, right?😉 Maybe you love French toast but don’t make it anymore, because nobody else in your home does. Perhaps you’d like to lose weight but don’t know where to start. The pandemic, virtual learning, and working from home or being out of a job have you neglecting yourself a bit? Not getting dressed everyday or styling your hair? Well I am here to help, of course!

Let’s start with having a conversation with the members of your family, the other people in your household. Have a family meeting or have individual conversations. I recommend doing both. Sometimes, someone may feel more comfortable having an open conversation in private, or with a sibling advocate present. Test the waters and do what works for your family. But, have an age appropriate talk. for example, if you have young children, perhaps 10 or below, the conversation will be different for kids aged 11 to 13 and so on. For the younger kids, sit them down and have a conversation something like this, “There are a lot of things that I have to do to help take care of the family. Do you know some of the things I do? Like cooking the delicious food we eat, driving where we need to go, cleaning the house, the clothes, the toys, and cleaning the dishes, and more! Well, I love doing all of these things, and to make sure I feel good, I can keep doing these things, and am healthy, I need some self-care. And you need the same thing. We all deserve it.” Children are inquisitive so bring on the questions, right? 🧡 But, explain to them that you will be taking 15 to 30 minutes each morning and night just for yourself. Share affirmations with them and let them set self-care time aside for themselves, too. Teach them to speak affirmations to themselves, too. Meditate with them and watch them copy you. Do yoga and watch them join you. Set self-care time aside for them daily, too, and it will be easier for them to honor yours.

For the older kids, have the same kind of age appropriate conversation. For your partner or spouse, the same conversation needs to take place and in a very real way. It is important that each of you establish a self-care routine including speaking affirmations into your everyday routines. Honor and respect each other’s individual self-care needs.

Another suggestion I have is a dance party! I think people have forgotten the power of music and dancing and since this series includes music, please, turn on your favorite playlist, get up and dance. Move your body to the rhythm, feel the beat in your bones and the melody in your feet and dance until you sweat. Try turning on your favorite movie soundtrack and listen to it without the visuals. Music is therapeutic. Incorporate it into your self-care.

How are you feeling about this? What songs will you play at your dance party to? Do you already have a self-care routine? Are you open to talking to the other members of your household and making self-care a priority for all of you? Leave a comment and let’s chat.

If you’re on social media, check me out on Instagram. I am doing a LIVE video on Thursday, December 10th, at 9:00 pm EST, and I will be going in full detail about selfcare for the busy woman and her entire household. Join me on Instagram!

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