Alright, ladies! How are you doin’? I hope you are well, feeling beautiful, loving yourself, taking care of your mental health, physical health, emotional health, and spiritual health. I would like to take a minute and celebrate each and every one of you. I know life is unpredictable, life can be challenging at times, beautiful at others, but you are an awesome and important part of what it takes to make the world go round, I hope you know that to your very core.
So, now here we are. Part three of this “Why are we single?” series. I want to make sure we understand one really important thing.These statements and suggestions are strictly my opinion. Yes, I will throw facts and data in here from time to time, but ladies this is from my personal social research and discussions with dozens of men and women. I know what I am talking about, trust me!
In this third part, I want to talk about how fear is keeping you single. Ladies, how many of you are afraid of being hurt again, afraid of being lied to, afraid of being betrayed, afraid of being cheated on, afraid of being vulnerable? Probably, most of you. And that is keeping you single.
When we go into any situation with fear, it manifests into apprehension. That apprehension leads to your guards being up, walls being up, and the fear of being vulnerable. If you are afraid of being vulnerable that means you will not let a man in, you will not let him get too close to your heart. Fear of being vulnerable means you will not relate to him in a healthy way and therefore, you will not maintain a relationship, let alone get to marriage.
Why is it that so many women think that the number of men that they can get matters, in comparison to the number of men they can keep? It doesn’t! Ladies, men like sex. A man that will have sex with you is not the same as a man that will commit to a relationship with you. Ladies! Read that again! Ladies control who has sex and when, but the men control who gets into relationships and who gets married. Getting a man is not the same as keeping a man.
Talk to some women that have been married for 10 plus years. Ask them if their relationships have been work, or if they have been a breeze. Ask them if they would rather do life alone or with a partner. Ask them if they are afraid of being vulnerable or if they fully let their husbands in.
How can you want a man to love and care for you, if you are afraid to let him truly love and care for you? I suggest you start with digging into the hurt from your past and healing. I suggest you take a hard look at reality and realize that in order to have love, you must be love, and love is not afraid. Love is fearless and love is powerful. Ladies, if you want to be married, do not be afraid to go into a situation not knowing the outcome, but being intentional to get the outcome you want. Ask the right questions, pay attention. Act right. And if it does not work out, shake it off and move on. But, do not let the fear from things in your past, keep you from the freedom of your happiest present and future.
I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Maya Angelou. “Have enough courage to trust love one more time. And always one more time.”
Until next time, be well, and be love!